How to Get Your Guy to Open Up

talking to a man

We all know that men and women are completely different when it comes to sharing their feelings. Women tend to be an open book (or at least with a little bit of prying beforehand) whereas men tend to play their cards close to their chests and stay tight lipped.

If you want to get your man to open up to you, you can’t ask him those “fun questions to ask your man” because they simply do not work. Sure, he may have indulged you once or twice, but that’s about as far as he will go with them.

Instead, take this technique and try to implement it into your relationship and avoid those “nail in the coffin” type questions.


Toothpick questions are much softer and nicer versions of those pesky “nail” like questions. Typically, men can handle these much better than the other questions and they can even appreciate these questions because they are more direct.

These questions may actually be topics that he would love to talk about, but any other way when the question is presented to him, he may feel threatened. When you present your question in a straightforward manner, he will be much inclined to talk about them and reinforce the fact that he loves you.

These toothpick questions aren’t so much questions, but an opening for a discussion. When you present a toothpick, you’ll want to add a few lines of an answer too. This lets your man off the hook and to breathe a little bit better. Plus, this gives him the insight into what you’re thinking as well.

Toothpick Questions Examples

Have you ever wondered where we would be if we hadn’t met each other? I couldn’t even fathom what I would be doing, maybe I’d open a bakery or something… Maybe I would be dating someone…? Who knows! What about you?
What would you do if you stumbled upon a magic lamp and a genie popped out, granting you three wishes. What do you think you’d ask for? Me? I’d wish for…

Do you remember when we first started dating, we would hold each other’s hand all the time and sneaked quick kisses when no one was looking? It made us feel like kids again… I wonder why we stopped doing that.

The Best Approach to Opening Him Up

Now do you see the difference between a toothpick question and a heavy hitting question? Just as simple as it is, it also is more involved and your man doesn’t feel like he is put on the spot. It really is more of a discussion rather than an unfair game of 20 questions.

These questions involve him a lot more and it gives him a chance to give suggestions and his opinion on the things that matter. Men would much rather tackle these questions because they are presented in a way that doesn’t seem like your pointing any fingers.

If you don’t think that he will even open up then, you can just ask him directly to tell you what you want to know. Women like to put up an act or sulk in order to get their way, but most of the time men simply don’t understand.

You can give your guy a break by being upfront and it’ll be a harmless experience for all involved.