If you’ve ever felt like people are always taking advantage of your good nature, then it’s up to you to put a stop to it. Here are some ways that you can change the perception of being a pushover to someone who is strong and assertive.
What is a Pushover?
When you’ve been labeled as a pushover, then that means people see you as a target. They think that you are easily defeated, you wave the white flag without much fight, you avoid conflict at all costs — even if that means you lose in the end. Keep in mind that being a pushover doesn’t mean that you’re weak though. It simply means you lack the necessary skills required to stand up for yourself. Until now.
Identify the Things You Don’t Want to Do
We’ve all encountered situations where we are given the option to do something that we don’t really want to do. Instead of blindly following orders, stick by your guns. If you don’t want to go to the mall, don’t go just because a friend suggested it. If you don’t want to do that second shift at work, don’t do it just because your boss asked you.
Express Your Feelings
Unless you tell people what you are feeling, no one will ever know! So, if you don’t like that your sister borrows your favorite shirt without asking, she won’t know that you don’t want her to do that. If your boyfriend continues to go to the bathroom without putting the seat down, he won’t know that it annoys you if you don’t say anything. You cannot be afraid to voice your complaints, no matter how large or small.
Learn to Say No
Learning how to say no is one of the hardest things a person that has been labeled a pushover to do. Because they don’t like to deal with conflict, they will say yes to almost anything, even if it means being uncomfortable. When you learn to say no, you will be amazed by how freeing it can be! No longer do you have to do things that you don’t want to. No longer will you have to endure conversations with your in-laws if you don’t want to.
Be Assertive and Choose Your Battles
One thing nice people who ebb on being a pushover need to learn is how to stand up for themselves. Sure, not every situation requires you to beat your chest and demand respect, but it is good to recognize situations where you have to. You’ll want to analyze the problem at hand and ask yourself if the situation is problematic enough where it has to be addressed. If it isn’t, you can let the situation go until a later time when you aren’t going to lose your cool and say something you may regret.
The key to not being a pushover, but still being nice is to know your limits and know when it is appropriate to speak your mind. You don’t want to tackle a situation with F-bombs flying when it’s not necessary. By evaluating the situation, you can better assess how you should respond.