4 Classic Firemen Jokes That Will Split Your Sides from Laughter

We all love to hear a good joke every now and again. Here are four of our favorite firefighter jokes that makes us laugh like crazy. If you’re a Fire Chief, we have to apologize beforehand because you’re in a couple of them!

1. Brain Transplant
A married lady receives some tragic news. Her husband was in a car accident and is brain dead. The doctor did say that he had some good news to give her, though. He tells her that they had perfected a technique that lets them transplant the brain, and she was lucky because they had three brains on hand that she could choose from.
It would seem that there was a large explosion that killed a chief, a captain, and a firefighter. She had insurance, but she still asked how much each brain was. The firefighter’s brain cost $10,000, the captain’s cost $50,000 and the chief’s cost a whopping million bucks. She asked the doctor why the chief’s brain was so expensive, to which the doctor replied, “He never used it.”

2. Fire Pup Siren
A fireman was working in front of the fire station, and he noticed a small boy next door. The boy had a small red wagon decked out with little ladders hanging off the side. He sported a fireman’s hat, and there was a small dog tied to the wagon.
The fireman calls over to the little boy and asks, “Hey kid, what are you doing?” The boy responds, “I’m a fireman, and this is my fire truck!” The fireman smiled and went over to check out the boy’s Firetruck. “That’s a nice firetruck you’ve got there,” he says.
“Thank you!” the boy replied. When the fireman got closer, he noticed the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles.
“Say a young man, I don’t want to tell you how to work your firetruck, but if you tie the rope around the pups neck, you might go faster.”
The little boy stops and thinks for a second and then turns to the fireman and says, “You’re right, but then what would I use for the siren?”

3. The Bell System
A fireman came home from a long day on the job and said to his wife, “Honey, we have a great bell system at the station. Bell 1 rings, and we know we have to put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings, and we know we have to slide down the pole. When Bell 3 rings, we are in the fire truck and ready to head to the fire.”
“How about from now on, whenever I call Bell 1, you take off all of your clothes. When I say Bell 2, you have to hop into bed. Then when I say Bell 3, we’re going to have sex all night long.”
The next evening when he comes home, he yells out, “Bell 1!” His wife takes off all of her clothes. He calls “Bell 2!” and she quickly jumps into bed. Lastly, he calls out “Bell 3!” and the begin to make love.
Just a few minutes pass and then his wife calls out, “Bell 4!”
Confused, the husband asks, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Roll out more hose because you’re missing the fire,” his wife responds.

4. Hunting Trip
One day three firefighters, a rookie, captain, and a chief, went into the woods for a hunting trip. The weather was horrible, and they didn’t see any deer all day. Finally, the group found an old shack. They went inside and began to play poker.
After losing several hands, the rookie throws down his cards and declares, “That’s it! I’m going out there and killing myself a deer.”
A short time passes and the rookie came back with a healthy 4-point buck. The captain and chief looked at the rookie and asked how he caught it.
The rookie poked out his chest and proudly said, “I walked about fifty feet out and followed some deer tracks. That’s when I shot this buck.”
The captain shook his head and said, “I’ve had enough. I’m going to get my own deer.” A half hour passes and the captain comes back with a 6-point buck.
The chief asked the captain how he got it. The captain replied, “I walked out about one hundred feet, followed some deer tracks and snagged this buck.”
The chief didn’t want to be outdone, so he picked up his rifle and said, “Now it’s my turn! I’m going to get the biggest buck yet.” An hour passes, and he comes back bloodied and bruised.
The other two men looked at the chief and asked what happened. The chief responded with, “I walked out about five hundred feet, followed a set of tracks and got hit by a damn train!”