One thing that everyone has to remember is that no one has to do anything for you, even your loved ones. They have the prerogative to say, “no” just as much as you have the prerogative to ask for help.
With that said, when someone says “Thank you” after doing something for you? Doesn’t it feel so incredible to hear? So do so many couples go without saying that phrase so often?
According to William James, the American psychologist believes “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”.
Appreciation is something that we can freely give to others and it doesn’t cost us a penny. When we give just the smallest bit of appreciation by communicating effectively, it goes much further toward enhancing our relationships than any materialistic thing could. We all know and understand this; however, we still do not openly show our appreciation—especially toward our loved ones. But… Why?
Do we feel entitled? Are we too self-important or think that we are owed something? Maybe we are just too stubborn.
Many of us may have the mindset that our significant others are supposed to do things for us, and while it may be true to some extent, they still deserve some sort of acknowledgment don’t they? You know
that had they not done this or that, you would have said something. Or, even more, if you did something for them and they hadn’t shown their appreciation to you, you would have felt some kind of way. We expect certain things at home, therefore, we don’t appreciate when they are done.
When we are at home, we often have the mindset that if they truly loved us, they would do XYZ without our even asking. This is when someone’s expectations turn into some kind of bartering system that
never turns out well.
Too many times we think that someone has to do something because it is their “job,” but in truth, they do these things because they love you. Everyone desires to be recognized for doing something and when you show a bit of appreciation, it certainly goes a long way.
Think about it this way… When you’re interacting with a teenager, you have to work pretty hard to keep them motivated and to do their chores. They need that encouragement and appreciation so that they
continue to do what you want. By saying thank you and being genuine with your appreciation, it certainly goes a long way.
This goes the same for your partner. Although they don’t quite need the same level of attention and encouragement, a little bit still goes a long way. Also, if you say it once, it’s not enough. Every time your partner does something unexpected, says “thank you.” Every time they help you, whether it is opening the pickle jar or folding the laundry, say “thank you.” This kind of positive acknowledgment lets them know that their efforts aren’t in vain and you do appreciate them and what they add to your life.