We’ve all been there a time or two before where we have been casually dating someone and we really get along with them. We want to make it official and turn it into a serious relationship, but we aren’t sure how. When you are dating someone in uniform, especially someone who goes away for long periods of time, you may want to suck it up and try to form a relationship with that person. But, how?
Pay Attention to the Signs
So you’ve been dating this person casually for a while now and you are interested in making it a serious thing. Before you speak up and say, “Hey, I want this to be a serious relationship, you down?” Look at the signs first. When you get together, is it more than just a booty call? Do you have dates that are on the romantic side, or is it just drinking and hanging out? Do people know you are casually dating one another or is it a secret? These signs can tell you one way or another if the other person feels the same about taking the arrangement to the next level.
Ready for Commitment?
After the sex and you’re playing little spoon, you may think to yourself that this is great and you want to do this all the time. However, you have to think to yourself if this (a relationship) is what you really want. Not only does a relationship take a lot of work to maintain the happy, but it also takes up a lot of time — time which you may or may not have enough of, depending on your circumstances.
Communication Is Necessary
The only way you can truly turn your casual dating situation into a relationship is by talking to the other person about it and seeing if they are on the same page. Why, even before it gets to that possibility, communication is pretty important. Why? When the casual relationship starts, you want both parties to be fully aware (and okay) with what the situation is (sex only, no public dating, friends need not know). Then periodically throughout the arrangement, you will want to revisit the terms of the arrangement.
When you have this conversation, you will want to ease into the subject. Don’t come out and say, “Be my boyfriend/girlfriend.” You will want to see if they are happy with the arrangement you have going now. If they are, you can venture on and ask if they would be interested in being exclusive? Have an open dialogue about what both parties want.
Just be aware that they may not want a relationship. If this is the case, you will have to determine if you are alright with things being as they are, or if you should end it. If you have feelings for the other person, it will be difficult to see them go out with other people, and it could evoke jealousy and hard feelings. Whatever you decide, be sure that it feels right.